Most of my friends are black, I grew up in a mixed area of London i.e. it wouldn't be described as a black area, went to schools where black people were very much the minority and went to a university where there was a couple of black people in my whole year reading the two subjects my degree is in. But once I turned 14 or so I would say most of my friends have been black, it wasn't a conscious decision but it just seems to have happened that way. That isn't to say I don't have friends from other backgrounds, as I still have childhood friends, and old work colleagues as well as current ones from other backgrounds but my closest friends or even the people you may see me out with on a Saturday night are all black. And this is why I have a problem with the Guardian's piece the reason for this is, my interests are things I like:
Music - mainly RnB, hip hop, neo soul, funk, afro-beats, funk, rare grooves etc not the pop stuff, and although this is more mainstream now it wasn't when I was younger nights where I can hear this are usually organised by black promoters
Politics - I'm centre left more lib dem than new labour, racial politics and womens issues are my bag
Fashion/beauty - focused on what I like and what works for my skin, hair i.e. black skin, Afro hair
Sport
Travel, eating out, films, theatre etc
Most of these are pretty generic but there are times when I want to go a film with a majority black cast or have a POV that is specific to my experience growing up as black child in London or something similar and I don't want to explain it or would prefer to share certain experiences with others who will enjoy this (it does beg the question why aren't white people watching shows/films with majority black casts, but will watch 'black' plays?). There is something heart warming about having friends who may not have had the same experience but understand certain things without explanation, what it was like when you washed your hair growing up or the drama of having to explain your hair every time you change a style - this is a weave, no my hair is xxx length kmt or the frustration you have at not being able to go into any shop to buy a foundation! And when shit really hits the fan, i.e. when you need to discuss certain things without being seen as a crazy person who always sees racism as an issue, its much easier to do that in a group who may have a more knowing experience.
Obviously I'm using extremes to make a point, but as people get older you'll notice that the saying 'birds of a feather flock together' is true and even within black friendship groups you may notice that members have a shared experience based on country of origin, language, religion, or relationship type. And I do think its hilarious when I see groups in my office who hang together, we have little Nigeria, an Indian enclave and a French speaking group but I also understand that there is something unifying about a shared experience and the feeling of excitement I had when I found out my colleagues' parents were also Nigerian and Jamaican - it has given us loads more to talk about.
I would say that are far more integrated than we have ever been before and although we need to consider why we may choose the friends we do, for me at least it isn't a question of race it's more to do with similar interests and shared experiences.
