On lots of the blogs and websites I read as well as the Twitter feeds of those I follow there has been lots of commentary on the Facebook post made by Jada Pinkett-Smith on Willow's hair cut. It seems to have resonated with black women either as a shining example of a loving mother who supports her children or as someone who has lost the concept of the mother and child relationship. Willow cutting her hair has never been any of my concern and although I had seen photos I hadn't thought much about it at all.
Having read Jada's response to those who have criticised her for allowing Willow to cut her hair (could there be any other reason for publicly sharing this) I still have the same feelings I've always had about the Smith family. I think it's wonderful that Jada and Will support their children wholeheartedly in their endeavours and that they are raising them to have a conscience and wider sense of the world than the amazing lifestyle to which they were born. But what I truly don't understand is why with all the contacts they have and the knowledge they have; that they haven't allowed their kids to just be kids. Safe in the knowledge that when they are adults they can utilise their networks to support their careers.
As a parent I've tried to consider what I would do in their position. But I just don't understand this need in parents - Joe Blogs or Madonna - to push their children to work and be famous. If my child wanted to sing or act I would support them in crafting their skill in preparation for their future. Although I think it's important to push your children and support their success; I also sincerely believe that fame brings so many unnecessary pressures and I would hope to protect my children from this.
If I'm honest the Smith family dynamic intrigues me; I am somewhat old skool and when I read or hear Jada say things like 'Willow said 'we had to do something about this'' or 'she wanted to cut her hair because she is not defined by her beauty [paraphrasing]' it challenges my own thoughts on the boundaries of parenthood and the parent child relationship, and I had a laid-back upbringing- so go figure.
In their position would I let my 10 yr old daughter have a number 2 cut - I think not; but having read Jada's response I know this is for my own selfish reasons and need to assert my parental authority. If I'm honest I don't give a monkeys why Jada and Will supported Willow and allowed her to cut her hair; and by all accounts Willow is a child who has wisdom way beyond her years. Yet all the hub bub has helped me remember that as parents we are here to guide our children so they can be the best person they can be and at times that can be a challenge; but that's the job.
See gossip sites and tv can be educational and thought-provoking.
I see this in my friends too. So eager to have children be grown. how grown can a child be. children need to grow at an even pace and mature in due season or they act out because they "grown for their age". I let my kids be kids. I encourage growth but I dont try to turn them into adults before their time
ReplyDelete