Forgiveness

If I'm truly honest with myself then my biggest flaw has to be my inability to forgive people for things they have done in the past. It's not that I hold grudges it's just that much like a panic room I shut down completely from the person or situation where there is an issue or I feel hard done by.

Today someone said to me that I need to learn to forgive and over the last 6 months or so I've been working on this (obviously a lot more work needs to be done). In some areas I'm probably better than this than others; but this is definitely a work in progress. What I've learnt is that for me being able to forgive is about three key things, trust - regaining that trust you had in a person, understanding - being able to see things from another persons perspective and ownership - taking responsibility for your own actions that led to the situation in the first place.

It's kind of a somber post but that's where my head is right now.

In other news I went to a fabulous wedding the other day coordinated by A Class Events. Even though it was the wedding of a really close friend I have to admit that it was one of the best weddings I had been to in a while. Check me in full wedding mode.

Speak soon
Nade

Women of the year

So it's awards season and that means numerous womens magazines and female friendly programmes (ok Womens Hour - note this is only available on the radio) are asking for votes and awarding their Woman of the Year awards. With so many women making outstanding achievements this year who would I pick, who has inspired me or who do I admire. So here goes - the Nadie says Women of the Year are:

Michelle Obama - we all know I love the First Lady so I'm guessing this is no surprise. Amazing, strong, loving, intelligent and all whilst being a mother, wife and President's representative in front of the media.

Beyonce - motherhood seems to have made Beyonce more endearing. The way she represented whilst pregnant and then her return to the stage not long after having Blue Ivy - dayum.

Doreen Lawrence - for continually striving for justice and for supporting others to have the legacy they deserve.

Ladies in my network of friends who are doing great things such as Ronke Ige, Emi & Ben and Stephanie Mensah StylesAfrik. We see you, always good to see people you know representing and striving on.

Gabby Douglas - I lo sport and gymnastics is one of my all time favourites (I got to badge 1 as a kid) so watching Gabby take gold in the all round competition was one of my moments of London 2012.

Malala Yousafzai - sometimes I forget how relatively simple my life is and then I remember that whilst we complain about equal pay there are others out there who are fighting for simple rights that we take for granted. Malala is truly an inspiration especially as she says she will still continue to go to school even after an attempt on her life.

My aunt - I truly admire her strength to just get on with things, especially when others wouldn't.

The US presidential elections - any lessons for the UK

Four years ago I watched Barack Obama accept the Presidency, give his inauguration speech and dance with Michelle to Beyonce's rendition of At Last. Like many I had read President Obama's books and followed his progress from Senator to Democrat candidate for POTUS. I read politics at university, so I have a general interest but Barack stood out for me for lots of reasons as the kind of candidate I would back because of his ideology and his character and obviously like many I wanted to be a part of the historic moment when America elected its first African American president.

Now I am safe in the knowledge that President Obama will stay in office for another four years (yeah 4 more years of The Obama's in the White House means even more Michelle). And because I'm awake at 4am, I've started to think about what lessons we (Britain) could learn from the elections; where we saw an immense turn out from minority voters, where the young came out and voted in droves and people queued for 5 hours in some parts of the country to cast their vote. If you compare that with the turn out for the last parliamentary elections here you can see a marked difference. With numbers at all time lows for participation, it would appear that inertia has set in.

So what needs to be done to reengage voters in the British political system - do we need to look at the way political parties connect with the public, get celebs to encourage participation, have a more representative Parliament i.e. less Eton and more local comp and stress that we want a little more real world experience from candidates (your only job references shouldn't be your local pub and the parliamentary office)? What do you think and were you wishing you could vote for President Obama (to say no to Romney), whilst your name is omitted on the electoral roll - and therefore unable to vote?!

Just food for thought but the political parties and organisations with interests in the political process really need to think hard about how they get the British public vested in its own democratic process.

Nadie x

Ps Favourite bits from the President's 'I did it' speech

'We have to change that' - at times I thought I was watching a nation voting for the first time. I really couldn't believe the queues. It's obviously an indication of how many people turned out but that's crazy. For a minute there I thought Apple had launched a new iPad (not funny I know).

'Everyone has got to love Michelle as I do' - its super cute when someone just says this at a wedding, anniversary or birthday but on the world stage it's just beautiful and as you know I'm very much #teamMichelle.

'One dog is enough' - you can always identify with something in an Obama speech - humour, empathy, real ness. Such an amazing orator, once again back to his best.

Growing my hair - update 6 months

In April I told you that I was going to start a healthy hair regime, so I thought it was about time I provided an update. I've been doing the following since April:

Using heat sparingly, I've used my straighteners 5 or 6 times at most, I do blow dry my hair sometimes on the low heat setting but this is also infrequent.

Washing weekly and then if I go to the gym I will rinse out my hair and wash it with conditioner (co-washing). I also deep condition with my hood dryer weekly.

Reduce the amount of protein conditioners I use, I had a love affair with Affirm's 5in1, I only use it the week before I relax my hair to strengthen it, directly after rinsing out my relaxer but before neutralising and the week after I relax. I still think its an amazing product i just don't need to use it every week. Instead I alternate my conditioners weekly using Keracare Humeteco for moisture and Aphogee 2 minute for protein (I'm not sure I like this product so looking for an alternative).

Relax my hair every 8-10 weeks, rather than every 6 weeks. I currently have a weave in so probably won't relax my hair again to February but that depends, although that's the aim.

Stopped using products that contain mineral oil, petrolatum or certain types of alcohol.

Since doing all of the above my hair has grown from just below my ear lobe to chin length at the front and to the end of my neck at the back. Although due to constantly putting my hair in a top knot I have suffered some breakage.

If you're interested in finding out more about the health of your hair I would definitely recommend this book 'The science of black hair' it basically challenges lots of myths about black hair.

My new past time - baking

When I was growing up I was a keen baker, I regularly used to bake at the weekends, rock cakes, flapjacks and scones were my particular favourites. But as I got older and life got in the way baking took more of a back seat; however lately I've started baking again and I'm really enjoying it. I find it a great way to relax and sometimes knock up a cake after work or on a Sunday afternoon.

So far I've perfected Humming Bird's Red velvet cake recipe, tried my hand at Let Them Eat Cake, made a banana cake that my work colleagues and my niece and nephew loved and have made a number of desserts. I'm now getting requests and have been asked to make a carrot cake and am currently soaking fruits for my first ever Christmas cake - the fruits are already well laced with rum and I can't wait to bake the first attempt in late November.

I'm now looking for an amazing cake stand and tea set so that I can have afternoon tea, so if you see one  do let me know.

Film Africa 2012

I'm a bit of a film fiend, and I generally love watching movies and making good use of my Cineworld card. As well as going to see blockbusters at the cinema, I also enjoy attending film festivals; there are so many great independent films that you can see, and hearing from the director, screenwriter etc, who sometimes attend the screenings makes the experience so much richer. So when I stumbled across information on the Film Africa Festival, which runs from 1-11 November I was quite excited. With films in different locations in London, I'm sure there will be something that I would like to see.

Wise words

Saw this today and it seemed to be speaking to me, so I stole it and am now sharing it with you. If you can't read it here's a link http://instagr.am/p/RFXVMkPOEC/

For other words of wisdom do check me out on Instagram nache79