New girl crush alert

So of late I've been crushing on Angela Simmons, niece of Russell Simmons and daughter of Rev Run. So I wasn't a big fan of Run's House and I found everyone but Run and the middle son annoying and especially hated Angela's nasal monotone voice but the power of social media - Instagram has provided an insight into how Angela has continued to grow her empire and is now leading the style pack.

Here is a quick run down of why I'm crushing on Angela:

She is a successful business woman and her empire runs further than just Pastry it includes IamAngela which sells clothes and hair.

She is into fitness which I find inspiring she is constantly pushing herself to improve her health and what her body is able to do. A great motivator for me especially when I'm struggling to go to the gym or to my NTC bootcamp.

She seems to be getting her styling down to a T. I love that when she was in Nigeria she represented in ankara styles and silk wrappers and continues to wear them in the States. I also like that she wears highstreet (online) like Virgo's Lounge. One of my go to's for occasion wear - weddings, award dinners, birthday celebrations etc.

All photos from Angela Simmons Instagram account

New female admiration - Chimamanda Adiche

If like me you love to read you may have read books by two of my favourite writers Chimamanda Adichie and Zadie Smith. Last night Zadie hosted a conversation with Chimamanda which was live streamed. Some of you may know Adichie as a featuring artist on Beyoncé's latest album - anyway I'm very much a fan of Chimamanda I love that she presents a view of the Nigerian experience in a way that stirs so many emotions; from lol moments to sadness and everything in between and I have read all of her books.

In the last year or so  really since the beginning of her Americanah (her latest novel) press tour I have watched, read and listened to her TED talk,  interviews and comment pieces and I have found myself to be in agreement with many of her opinions on feminism and her view of the black experience in America and elsewhere. I truly find her a breath of fresh air and see her as someone that I would like to have a chat with.

Anyway its definitely worth watching the discussion (its about an hour in length) http:// m.colorlines.com/archives/2014/03/watch_zadie_smith_and_chimimanda_ngozi_adichie_talk_about_postcolonial_lit.html

Also di read Americanh, I can't recommend it highly enough! I recently attended a reading of Ghana Must Go by Taiye Selasi and when asked by her editor my thoughts on Americanah raved way too much; to the point she told me with disdain that she - Chimamanda was the one that got away. I hardly reread books and when I do its years later but its on my list after Silver Sparrow (current), Water for Elephants (book club read) Half a Yellow Sun (another Chimamanda book that I need to reread before the film is released - Chiwe stars in this film).

P.S If you haven't read Ghana Must Go do!

When I'm too lazy to go to the gym

So since coming back from Malaysia I've been slacking in terms of not eating loads of junk food and going to the gym. I have this weird approach to getting back in to more of a health conscious regime. I start by working out at home, then introducing changes to my diet so that I notice that I'm less bloated or my jeans fit slightly better and then I head back to the gym. This is usually over a couple of weeks and it's the only way I can my head back in the game. I always think see if you put more effort in look and what the results would be. Do you have any weird and wonderful methods to psyche you up to start exercising. Or are you someone who just keeps it up - I think thats going to be my focus from now on. I need to be more consistent and stop yo-yoing.

I go to the gym near my office #gymbox and when I'm on leave or at the weekend I find it difficult to make the trek (all of 25 mins) there.  When its chilly exercise outdoors is a no-no, so I have to find ways to incorporate exercise into my day at home. To be fair I also not a fan of sweating profusely or huffing and puffing in public. So except for a group boot camp I attend sporadically and a outdoor run once or twice a year it's the gym or home for me.

To give you a general idea on my thoughts on exercise this is what my ideal workout would be - copious amounts of shopping which includes speed walking, lifting weights and a sauna (when you're laden with bags and a coat the Tube its awfully hot). But if want to try other methods here are a few that I use:

I hula hoop, I bought a hula hoop a while ago and try to use it whilst watching tv usually for about 15 minutes at a time. If you really go at it, walk around and hula at the same time, use your arms, squat and hula etc you will build up a sweat. It also helps to tone your stomach area. I like it because you can do it anytime and as I said its easy to do whilst catching up with my Sky+ box. I also skip and use the hiit method to do this 40 seconds maximum effort and 30 secs rest for as many rounds as I can do. I try to do 20 minutes but I'm usually dying before I can get to 12.  I use an interval training app on my phone that helps to track the time and tells me when to start, stop and prepare for the next round. I also have an ab roller at home, and fitness bands which I use for arm and leg exercises.

I'm a big fan of Fitness TV Sky channel 282 and I do randomly flick to the channel and join in a work out if there is one I like. There are lots of different types of exercise classes available. Some are regular fitness shows and others are actual fitness videos so you get a good mix. The only downfall is that some of the instructions aren't very good but I guess that's the same for any fitness video. 

Another way I access exercise videos is via YouTube. There are loads of great videos that it can be difficult to know where to start I would definitely check out Fitness Blender, Hip Hop Abs if you like a dance class. There are 1000s of classes to choose from. I've also tried Results with Lucy which is a series of online videos as well as programmes you can purchase and then access online. I liked the range of videos, and the fact Lucy Meckelnburgh (formerly of TOWIE) and her trainer are very down to earth. Some of the exercises are easier and some are pretty intense - day to day I wouldn't use this but it's worth checking out if you like bitesize videos you can pull together and if you need great inspiration - have you seen Lucy's abs!!! The programmes also look really good and some of the testimonials are amazing and show terrific results.

But my favourite way to exercise at home is to dance followed by using my Nike NTC app. If you don't know about the NTC app it's a free app with hundreds of exercises focused on getting lean, toned or strong with exercises you can do for anything from 7 to 45 minutes. Athletes like Serena Williams demonstrate the exercises or alternatively well known trainers like Jeanette Jackson or fitness models. I  also use this in the gym as well but I love that I can do a quick 15 minute workout when I can't get to the gym due to the variety available. I usually only do the 15 minutes ones at home and usually do one cardio and one abs or yoga and I also opt for the no equipment ones as I do not have weights at home - although you could use a tin of beans or two full bottles of water.

Just so you know I'm not super fit, I'm actually far from it but I find that exercising is a good stress reliever I guess it's all those endorphins you release when you're working up a sweat. It also helps me to feel more confident in my appearance. I personally prefer it when I'm slimmer and more toned and with a BMI thats in a healthier range. 

Before you start an exercise regime it's recommended that you consult your GP also if you have any injuries then you need to consider focusing on exercises that are less likely to make your existing injury worse. Think low impact.

Its been a while

So basically I haven't blogged for ages and the reason for this is that so much has been going on in my life. I haven't been able to take a minute to stop, think and blog. I've also been trying to be less opinionated lol which has meant that instead of always having something to say I've been keeping my pov to myself. But now I'm back and I'm going to do my best to keep up the momentum and get on with posting.

Since my last blog post I'm sure you've all been waiting to read this I've:

Continued on my fitness and exercise thang. I love it, the endorphins buzzing around my whole being after a jog or exercise class make me feel great. At the moment I'm trying to increase the length of my jogs (not quite fast enough for runs yet) and I've also cut down on the dance type cardio classes and focus on conditioning. I even have calluses. I'm definitely seeing results but I still have work to do my stomach could be more toned and I need to work on my back and arms.

Been getting my head stuck into interior design as I've been helping with a refurbishment project. Its been really interesting and fun - I now know where you can get really good deals for a new bathroom and how overpriced B&Q is!? Trade shops are so the way forward.

Falling in love with make up again - if you didn't know I previously trained as a make up artist, my clients included everyone from the BBC to a page 3 model and I did everything including bridal, editorial and fashion make up. I once even made up models for a fetish fashion show lol looking back that are a few stories to tell about that night. Anyway I've been stocking up on products, brushes and storage. I'm obsessed by Nars, am a regular Kiko shopper and use Micellar water all the time. I've also been looking into doing an Asian bridal make up course - just because.

These are the current things on my mind:

I'm kind of bored with the whole Lupita thing. She has become the poster child for all representations of black beauty that do not pertain to the traditional Americanised version of what a beautiful black woman looks like. What I find slightly ironic is that Lupita is now identified as another representative of another kind of beauty;  dark skinned, short hair - why aren't all forms of black beautiful celebrated especially as beauty is definitely in the eye of the beholder?! Lupita is a fantastic actress lets focus and celebrate that.

I could do with at least a 5 minute break from seeing Lupita everywhere and anywhere - less is sometimes more. I do wonder if she has proven that a black face (and not a white person in dark make up) has no impact on magazine sales - if so I may just have to keep it zipped on this subject.

The Lean In 'Not bossy' campaign.  I get it bossy has negative connotations and is a word usually used to describe girls. Boys aren't bossy they are strong, determined and perhaps wilful, girls are bossy, strong willed and lil misses or madames. But you know what I like bossy girls and bossy boys I like characters who know what they want and who clearly state it. At times I even like it when a child is able to provide a good reason for why you should do something or why they aren't going to do it - doesn't mean its going to happen but they should be able to articulate their position and stand up for it. Because that's what life's about no one wants to admit it but usually lil miss bossy and lil mr headstrong are the type that get shit done. Maybe the campaign shouldn't be 'no to bossy' but 'I was bossy and look where I am now' with quotes from successful men and women. Do you agree did being called bossy as a girl stop you standing up to lead? If girls are sitting back in their late tweens and early teen years then we need to look at why and how we help both sexes to fulfill their potential. For some reason I believe that Michelle Obama, Oprah, Karen Brady etc where all bossy girls - maybe not so bad.

Feminism, intersectionality, black feminism,  the focus on hair or relationship status when discussing  black women. I could go on and will probably discuss these in more detail at some point but for now and because its my bed time - Later and guess who's back, guess who's back.

Race and friendships

So today I read a Guardian comment posted in August that discussed race and friendships; and although it was an interesting piece that talked to the fact that the onus is on ethnic minorities to integrate and that even in London things are pretty segregated I think it missed some fundamental points.

Most of my friends are black, I grew up in a mixed area of London i.e. it wouldn't be described as a black area, went to schools where black people were very much the minority and went to a university where there was a couple of black people in my whole year reading the two subjects my degree is in.  But once I turned 14 or so I would say most of my friends have been black, it wasn't a conscious decision but it just seems to have happened that way. That isn't to say I don't have friends from other backgrounds, as I still have childhood friends, and old work colleagues as well as current ones from other backgrounds but my closest friends or even the people you may see me out with on a Saturday night are all black. And this is why I have a problem with the Guardian's piece the reason for this is, my interests are things I like:

Music - mainly RnB, hip hop, neo soul, funk, afro-beats, funk, rare grooves etc not the pop stuff, and although this is more mainstream now it wasn't when I was younger nights where I can hear this are usually organised by black promoters

Politics - I'm centre left more lib dem than new labour, racial politics and womens issues are my bag

Fashion/beauty - focused on what I like and what works for my skin, hair i.e. black skin, Afro hair

Sport

Travel, eating out, films, theatre  etc

Most of these are pretty generic but there are times when I want to go a film with a majority black cast or have a POV that is specific to my experience growing up as black child in London or something similar and I don't want to explain it or would prefer to share certain experiences with others who will enjoy this (it does beg the question why aren't white people watching shows/films with majority black casts, but will watch 'black' plays?). There is something heart warming about having friends who may not have had the same experience but understand certain things without explanation, what it was like when you washed your hair growing up or the drama of having to explain your hair every time you change a style - this is a weave, no my hair is xxx length kmt or the frustration you have at not being able to go into any shop to buy a foundation! And when shit really hits the fan, i.e. when you need to discuss certain things without being seen as a crazy person who always sees racism as an issue, its much easier to do that in a group who may have a more knowing experience. 

Obviously I'm using extremes to make a point, but as people get older you'll notice that the saying 'birds of a feather flock together' is true and even within black friendship groups you may notice that members have a shared experience based on country of origin, language, religion, or relationship type. And I do think its hilarious when I see groups in my office who hang together, we have little Nigeria, an Indian enclave and a French speaking group but I also understand that there is something unifying about a shared experience and the feeling of excitement I had when I found out my colleagues' parents were also Nigerian and Jamaican - it has given us loads more to talk about.

I would say that are far more integrated than we have ever been before and although we need to consider why we may choose the friends we do, for me at least it isn't a question of race it's more to do with similar interests and shared experiences.

Who wants to eat burnt rice....

So was having a conversation with a guy who is in his late 30s and he was telling me that he prefers to date women in their late 20s. When I asked why he used this analogy 'no one likes burnt rice'; now even though it was kind of cheeky I had to admit that I understood what he meant. For clarity he was referring to women who have been 'burnt' in former relationships and like rice, even though it may only be the bottom of the pot that has been burnt, it affects every other relationship they have.

Now I've had this conversation with a few men over the last couple of months and there seems to be a recurring theme from their POV, women in their 30s are either eager to get married or have been scorned and are slightly hardened and maybe even bitter. Each time I've had this conversation I've stuck up for my gender, and countered the generalist comments. But when having this debate with a married couple, singletons and others in long term relationships either living together or apart most of the women had to admit that they had a 'burnt rice' friend. So this got me thinking why is that, how come some people can't seem to let their past relationships go? Is it because it was that one great love, and if so wouldn't it have worked out?!!

I have to admit I totally don't understand the bitterness and I truly believe that the reason people feel that way is because they haven't truly given themselves the chance to get over their relationship. I ultimately believe that it takes a good 9 months minimum to get over a lost love, and think its weird when someone goes straight back and starts dating after a break up. On the other end of the scale I'm always astonished when friends talk about their ex as if they were meant to be or get jealous about their new relationship. I'm always happy for anyone I've ever dated when they marry, have children, get engaged etc; it's a wonderful thing for their lives to progress with the right woman for them, and I'm happy in the knowledge that they weren't the right person for me! At the time I may not have felt that way but now I'm 100% sure that's the case!

Guys please understand that most 30+ women are amazing, in a good place career wise, confident and cultured. Think about it this way Beyonce is in her 30s and Rihanna is in her mid 20s, one understands her status and lives up to it, the other is wearing swimming costumes to go shopping. Just remember one burnt pot of rice, shouldn't end your love of jollof, rice n peas, special fried rice or whatever takes your fancy.

Must watch new show alert

So as you all know I am a major tv addict and this week is a good week for the following reasons:

Luther is back yes IDRIS is back on our screens. Luther is synonymous with so many good things, music, tv, a sexy brother! Anyway what makes Luther so good is the actual show my pulse was racing; I screamed twice I was thrilled. Cannot wait until next week and have downloaded this week's episode to watch on my mid week work trip.

The other show that I'm reeling on is Being Mary Jane which stars Gabrielle Union. It's a great show and the 1 hour  pilot promises so much, can't wait for the series to start in autumn. Being Mary Jane features Gabrielle as a successful black 30 something who has it all except someone to share it with and a family who leans on her for support. The show has humour, sex, female friendships and family dynamics. Definitely do check it out I watched it over on Mr World Premiere.