The Rihanna debate

So all though not confirmed it seems that a lot of people are getting their knickers in an almighty

knot about the fact that Rihanna and Chris Brown may be back together. Grazia have covered the reported reunion in their 'This week's conversation' section with a 5 page spread and a range of comments including opinion from Barbara Ellen stating Rihanna has 'betrayed young women....'!

I'm not even going to go into my normal rant that people jump and down to Jay Z whose career is based on the fact that he sold crack (where do you think he got the money to set up Rocafella); and as an outcome would have destroyed endless lives (not just the addicts) and then regularly vilefy Chris. I'm no fan, but obviously Rihanna's face is more important than crack babies or other innocent victims of drug dealers!  Anyway to get back to the point, it's a rather slow news week, it was half-term last week after all;   but even so the furore is a little OTT. I normally have an opinion on everything but on this particular subject my views are:

1. I was not in that car and unless you were there or have a friend who personally works for them or know someone who can give you personal insight into the nature of their relationship, I suggest you focus on what you are having for dinner tomorrow.
   
   
2. Rihanna is like any other person on this earth, being famous doesn't mean you get a extra dose of common sense and therefore her choices should be judged in the same way that anyone elses are i.e 'not me, and if that was my [add female relative] would tell her..... but good luck to her'.
   
   
3.  Get a life, I love celebrity gossip like millions of people but any singer, sportperson, celebrity etc is just a person. They are not role models and they shouldn't be expected to live their lives in a way that we can all follow suit. The Royal Family have been trying to do it for generations and they still fail eg Prince Charles and the Duke of Windsor; so what hope has Robyn from Barbados got.
   
   
4.  Moaning about it isn't going to do anything at all. If they are back together, and this has yet to be confirmed, do you think they really give a shit what you think?! They have both released remixes featuring each other, with lyrics such as 'I've missed you' and 'put your name on it' rubbing your judgemental noses in it!!
   
   
5. This is the type of situation where you run your mouth, it happens to you and your back tracking quicker than Usain Bolt; because lets be fair it could happen to anyone. I know someone who was in a relationship for over 7 years and the abuse didn't start until the last year; totally unexpected and out of the blue.
   

Now I'm not condoning domestic abuse at all; I know one too many people (doesn't make sense but you get the drift) who has been a victim of domestic abuse and my go to response to any friend, relative or person I overhear talking about this situation would be 'leave him alone'! But I know that any situation where you are in love with a person and you need to let go is difficult; and this situation isn't any different. Rather than scorning Rihanna, or getting ready to say 'I told you so', use this opportunity to:

• speak out about your own domestic violence experience.
  
• to tell your daughters, nieces etc why they should never be in a situation where they feel that its okay for someone to lay hands on them.
• to support a domestic violence charity
  

 Some domestic violence facts from Women's Aid


1 in 4 women will be victims of domestic abuse
1 incident of domestic violence is reported to the police every minute
On average every week 1 or 2 women are killed by a male partner or former partner each week.

Just in case you thought I was blaming men, men make up 40% of the victims of spousal abuse each year.